There are complaints everywhere: On social media, when flights are delayed or roads dug up or traffic jam, in most of your interactions, and certainly on your thoughts right now.
A complaint is raised when something is not happening as you desired or lost. What is that something- relevant or irrelevant? The answer to this question can give us important insights on complaining behavior of human beings. Often it has been noticed that 20% of complaints are genuine, while the remaining 80% might have been avoided by one. In part, today’s fast-paced society fuels complaints. When we (or loved ones) don’t live up to Instagram-worthy, sky-high societal standards we…you guessed it…complain: they could have avoided that, I wish I could look like that, I can never find enough time, my co-worker is so annoying, I’m so tired. And so the cycle goes.
Complaining is truly my strongest weakness.–Evinda Lepins
But here’s the problem: Complaining, and believing that something or someone must change in order for the world to be a pleasant place, weakens our ability to manage some of our situations. Even more? According to research, repetitive complaining can rewire your brain so that negativity becomes a default state. And a constant stress cycle can potentially impact immune functioning, weight, blood pressure and cholesterol, and even memory and learning down the road. The worst part about complaining: It prevents us from seeing the good in our daily lives -a sunny day, a little note your husband left you, the way a great workout leaves you feeling. With complaining, nothing seems good enough and finding the fault in a situation becomes the norm.
Why we complain?
According to studies, people complain once every minute during an average conversation. Why are we complaining?
To manage emotions, people sometimes complain. By venting their feelings, they hope to lessen the severity of these distressing emotions.
People do complain when they fail to perform up to the standard. People behave as if they didn’t get level playing field.
Frame of mind:
People may be more likely to complain when they are experiencing negative moods. Their complaining then leads to further negative moods, creating a vicious cycle.
Researchers suggest that certain personality characters play a role in how frequently people complain. Surprisingly, such people not even realize that their complaint is irrelevant.
Other people can also influence how often we complain. Being around people who tend to complain a lot can make us more likely to raise our own grievances.
People complain about just to get away from the responsibility. They simply don’t try to attempt due to the lack of confidence or the fear of failure.
Most of the time it is to seek the attention. These things are common today due to the reach and speed of social media.
How to Stop Complaining?
1. Accept changes
Change is the law of powerful nature. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, but it is the part of our life. Accepting the changes and adapting to it is matured rather than getting annoyed with it. Our eagerness does not allow accepting the changes so easily. But our positive attitude can overcome anxiety if we accept the changes and work towards solutions for adapting to it.
2. Pause, before you complain
Consider what you can do to improve the situation. Perhaps the answer is nothing more than focusing on your reaction. Analyzing a situation might help you grasp what you have control over and what types of *constructive* activities you can take. A few deep breaths or a short walk after a stressful situation can give you the emotional distance you need to come up with a better plan than venting.
3. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
So, your loved one has failed to show up the last three times you’ve attempted to meet. Instead of venting on someone else, consider what is causing him/her/them bail. What you’re reacting to may have less to do with you and more to do with what someone else is going through. It may even lead to a fruitful conversation with your loved one(s).
4. Avoid negative people
Avoiding negative or toxic people would be an excellent technique to be a less complainer. The negative atmosphere, as the term implies, diminishes your worth. It is a good habit to evaluate the people with whom you spend your time. This will help you in recognizing people who have a habit of complaining and persuading you to fall in line with them.
5. Don’t be judgmental
Judging others will have a negative impact on us. Judging not only forms an opinion about others, but it frequently forces us to be our own harsh critic. If others think, develop, and execute differently, it is not time to complain; rather, it is an opportunity for us to learn. Instead of focusing on the differences, recognize the value of diversity. When we open up for different views, it helps us to grow.
I had No shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.– Indian proverb.
6. Always Look forward and be grateful
Life has its own ups and downs, and it never stops. Moving on in life with gratefulness focuses your mind on what is good in your life, taking the focus away from the negative and creating a sense of enrichment. Life’s ups and downs are our experiences, and our downs are our lessons. Because happiness is buried in small things, being appreciative for small things while moving forward lowers the likelihood of complaining. The more you do this, the stronger the well-known attitude of gratitude, which significantly reduces complaining. Before going to bed, make a list of things you’re grateful for.
Our complaining habit is natural and it holds value until crosses limits. TIWIW recommends its community members to be more open to different views and ways of looking at life. At the end of the day, you won’t get a thing done if you spend that time complaining. Change your mindset, change your attitude, and then make something better of yourself and your situation.
It’s almost end of year 2022, instead of complaining, we can choose to remember all of the blessings that we have. Most of all, instead of complaining, we can learn the skill of happiness. If you are currently addicted to complaining, breaking the vicious cycle may be one of the hardest goals you can set for 2023.
Don’t let that stop you. This isn’t about living a complaint-free life, a complaint free year, a complaint free month, a complaint free week or even a complaint free Christmas. This is about being more conscious and challenging yourself to do something that’s potentially life changing
Happy Christmas !!!!